Living life with grace & harmony

 

Thomas Lee Abshier, ND
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Christian Counselor

Naturopathic Physician

Political Philosopher & Author

 

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Portland, Oregon

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Relationship Concepts

The Positive & Negative Polarities

By: Thomas Lee Abshier, ND

 

Relationships are built by positive emotions:

 

1 Timothy 6:11  But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.

 

2 Peter 1:5  And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.

 

1 Corinthians: 13:13  And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

 

Proverbs 3:5  Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

 

Proverbs 3:13  Happy is the man who finds wisdom, And the man who gains understanding;  For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver, And her gain than fine gold.  She is more precious than rubies, And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.  Length of days is in her right hand, In her left hand riches and honor.  Her ways are ways of pleasantness, And all her paths are peace.

 

Thus, with little contradiction, we may assume that knowledge, wisdom, peace, trust, love, hope, faith, patience, temperance, virtue, knowledge, godliness, kindness, and righteousness are among the pantheon of virtues.  And, that when these virtues are present in relationship, that happiness and satisfaction of the soul arise more easily.   

 

Negative Relationship Strategies:

 

When we construct our world around an inaccurate view of life, we find that life collides with our concepts.  We may react with pain and strong emotions against reality, and our reaction may move reality to a degree, but such forceful and misdirected tantrums will only muddy the waters of life and make the way of peace and happiness more difficult to find.  

 

Romans 13:13  Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy.  But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.

 

Galatians 5:19  Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

 

The flesh is tempted to express negative emotions in the presence of perceived pain.  Thus, whenever adverse events come, it is important to engage in the most regulated form of emotional response possible.  There are appropriate, right, and justified times for strong emotional expression, but they should be cautiously employed after proper judgment.  God has authorized a proper and normal emotional response to violation.  

 

The excessive emotional reaction or hyper-response to violation may be due to the presence of an emotional well associated with past hurt, a man’s birth nature or spiritual inheritance, or from a mistaken evaluation of reality.  The appearance of excessive emotional response should be diagnosed with care since the exact reality that stimulated the response is unavailable to other observers.   

 

Calming an excessive emotional response is the first intervention necessary in restoring health, stability, and positivity.  The healing and growth process after the emotional reaction to perceived trauma may include: Reframing the incident, understanding the ultimate good that could come of it, forgiveness for true violation, understanding the causes and sequences that led to the incident, recognition of its similarity to childhood or adult pain and trauma, adopting new strategies for future avoidance, and/or effectively combating the current forces if they appear in future